Conflict Lesson #3

Conflict

Lesson #3

1.22.12

 

Main Ideas:

• Everyone sins.
• Those who sin should apologize and repent.
• Those who are sinned against should rebuke and forgive sinners.

Prove It:  Time Capsule

 

Review Hypothetical Story:

• I’m so disappointed with you!  All week long I’ve been running you and your sisters around to your stupid practices.  I’ve cooked, cleaned, driven, and I’ve only asked you to do ONE THING:  clean your room.  And you couldn’t even do that one thing.  You’re grounded.  No friends, no phone, no car.
• Assignment:
  • Empathy.
  • Understanding.
• How did you make the situation worse?
• What did you say to make the situation better?

 

Watch Table 7 Video:

• What “Below the Belt” tactics do you see?

 

Luke 17:3-4—“3Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

• Rebuke, Repent, Forgive
• Pay attention to yourself FIRST

 

Repent:

Luke 6:41-42—41Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 42How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye.

 

• Confess:  Admit your fault.
  • Examine your own sin.
    • The conflict may be 99% the other person’s fault…you own up to your 1%.
    • Admitting your fault disarms the other person.
  • It’s not getting caught, it’s coming clean.
    • What do you need to come clean with?
  • Not denying your sin.
  • Not diminishing sin.
  • Not blame-shifting.
  • Not excuses.

 

2 Corinthians 7:8-10—8For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. 9As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. 10For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

 

• Convicted:  Godly grief
  • Not worldly sorrow.
  • Not sorrowful over getting caught.
  • Not sorrowful for the punishment.
  • Sorry for the sin.
  • Sorry for the disrespect.

 

Romans 2:4—4Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

 

• Change:  Turn from your sin.
  • God’s kindness gives us the opportunity to change.
  • Begins with a change of mind.
  • Becomes a change of action & heart.
  • Turn to Jesus.

 

Affinity Group Questions:

• What are common ways that youth hurt the people around them?  Be specific.  Is it all sin?
• Do you think youth do a good job of repenting of sin?  Why or why not?
• Hypothetical situation:  While at a friend’s house, a couple of your friends start talking about another one of your friends who isn’t there.  Everyone else is cracking jokes and making fun of him/her.  You chime in an embarrassing story about your friend, and everyone laughs.  A week later, your notice your friend hasn’t said hi or stopped to chat lately.  It turns out, he/she heard what you said.
  • How could respond in a way that would make the situation worse?
  • How should you respond?

 

Next Week:

 

Rebuke:

• Confront:  Get courageous
  • Don’t be a coward.
  • Don’t avoid them.
  • Don’t run away.
  • Privately.
  • Talk to them, not about them.
  • Bring water, not gas.
• Call them out.
  • Humbly.
  • Speak truth, in love.
  • I love you, but this is sin.

 

Forgive:

• Show grace:
• Let it go:
• Forgive & Forget is Foolish
  • You’ll be reminded.
  • Choose to continually forgive…over and over and over.
  • Don’t live life under that weight.